Dream eraser, a funny Internet advanced nerd.
The article directories
Write in front 1. Proficient in using rm command 2. Write in reading and writing database operation 3. Do not write comments, do not encapsulate code 4. Forcibly merge code on git 5. No technical resignation tips (thumb up over 200, send to get your boss quit tips O(∩_∩)O
Writing in the front
As the saying goes, write less code, leave less.
Travel the Internet recently, found some tips to leave the job, after reading, the heart was deeply moved
But after careful tasting, found that we programmers are not applicable.
- leadership clip dishes you turn the table, we programmers generally not leadership at a table; Leaders open the door you get on the car, our programmers are sitting on duty, generally not on a business trip, business trip generally also leadership drive; Leader K song you cut song, oh ~ KTV singing, I generally hide in the corner; The leader toasts you not to drink,…… ; Leaders listen to your self-drawn,…… ; Leaders drink water you brake,… .
They are clever schemes, but they are not easy for us programmers to learn. Then I learned the following six tips.
- > When the Leader says “I’ve been working hard”, you will reply “Don’t be idle and get me a glass of water”, showing your recognition of the Leader’s care. Leader WeChat calls you, you reply “?” “Or” Yes?, simple and efficient. When the Leader asks you why the progress is so slow, you will reply, “Come if you can”, to show your affirmation of his working ability. You are working, and the Leader pretends to be in front of you. Straight back, “Are you teaching me to do something?” “, through humorous language, rhetorical question sentence pattern, play a role in relieving embarrassment. The Leader assigns you a JIRA task and you reply, “That’s it?” , indicates that the requirements are simple and the work can be fully competent. When the Leader asks you to go to the office, you reply, “Don’t you have legs?” “In recognition of his long legs. The Leader sends you a bunch of tasks and says “oh” first. Say more, the job is the same job, just give a response. A coworker asks you, “I notice you’re not doing anything lately?” “, you directly reply “mind your shit”, indicating that the Leader has a clear division of labor and praises the perfect system of the company.
Well, the general skills have been learned, the next formal entry programmer resignation skills reveal secrets.
1. Proficient in using RM command
What is the rm command?Knowledge is not particularly difficult, if you want to learn, can be in the test environment to try
rm - rf/ code> or
rm - rf/* code> command.
Note that after running this command, it is best to copy the file a few times after executing it
There's probably nothing the gods can do to keep you from getting fired
If this exit tip doesn't satisfy you, try it in a production environment
Challenge yourself. Give you the authority of the administrator and you will dominate the company
However, after learning this skill, in addition to being able to receive a resignation medal
Maybe you'll get a tip for going to jail
Here buy one get one free for everyone, how much is a gift eraser.
2. Reading and writing database operations are written in the for loop
This exit tip is even more powerful, and it's hard to find out without a Code Review
Read and write database operations, written in the for loop
What subquery, association query, left join, right join, all without
You look up one table, then iterate over the results, and then look up another table
Just be direct
What about multi-table queries?One table, one level loop.
The database link is opened and closed at each level of the loop
select *lect *
Think of the technical director's helpless face when the server's memory and CPU exploded while reading tens of thousands of data
Is not very cool ~
This is a great exit tip. I hope you enjoy it
What?Sounds like you're complaining, don't you think it's enough?it doesn't matter
In the attached to you a, to delete the
delete code>, don't write the
where code> condition, see.
3. Never write comments, never encapsulate code
Don't listen to the technical director, write notes, write documentation, he is to slow down your development efficiency
Then how do we aim at this kind of unreasonable request, and analyze from it to leave a skill
Do the opposite
Never write a comment, let alone a development document, is wasting your valuable time
And the name of the variable, the name of the function, just a, b, c, e, f, g
In addition to simplicity, it comes with encryption
That way you can devote your limited time to development
After all, when you write code, only you and God know what logic is. Maybe in a couple of days, only God knows what logic is.
Second, do not encapsulate the code, from the top to the bottom of the written, program execution, is the most efficient
One function writes a day, one function writes a file
A file to write tens of thousands of lines of code
Then at the end of the code file, write neatly 20 curly braces, that sense of accomplishment must be huge
Don't know what curly braces are?Here's a reference case
} } } } } }
4. Git forces merging of code
The tips above can't satisfy you, so you'll love this one, and it's a technical flow
After Git commits the code, what?Have a conflict?
Who dares to modify the same file with me
Forced to merge him
I'm sure I won't get a resignation letter once or twice
Need to repeat the operation N times, will be able to welcome the resignation notice
What?N times, still can't get the resignation achievement
After merging someone else's branch, make fun of the guy being merged
Make him feel inferior, and then get angry
Let him beat you, then the technical director, must think you are being bullied, and give you a parting award
This is a resignation achievement on its own merits
5. Quietly modify database fields without warning, or change the interface to return data
The trick is to slay the dragon, and when the testing process is found to be faulty, the opportunity arises
Quietly fix one of your own bugs, while silently triggering another
For example, you can modify a field in a table in the database
Then release a patch pack in the name of a system update BUG
The online environment may suddenly crash because it is difficult to see because of the database fields being modified
The more times the system crashes, the better off you'll be
You can also modify the interface data format for the mobile phone, adjust the name of the parameter
In short, fix bugs carefully and write code carefully
Don't let the technical director get the slightest hint that you want to leave
Quietly, he got his resignation letter
666. No skills to quit tips (thumb up over 200, send to your boss quit tips O(∩_∩)O)
What?The above technical level is too high, you technical dishes, can't learn?
No problem, Eraser has carefully prepared you with three easy-to-follow, no-tech quitting tips
There's no barrier to getting started with these skills, so just list the titles
- anonymously teased the company, inadvertently revealed their ID for the meeting screen projection, set automatic QQ reminder, let friends crazy teasing the boss, open the large screen oncoming mode when the technical director demonstrates the project, quietly connected to the projector with Bluetooth, you know the follow-up...
For more tips, please sharethe comments section
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